Devin has requested that I share some of my feelings relating to adoption, and how I feel about being a grandmother to an adopted child.
I began pondering the reality of adoption some years ago, as a teenager I was told that there was a very real possibility that I would never be able to bear children. I struggled to understand what that would mean to me and eventually I concluded that adopting a child would be a wonderful thing and if I could not have children of my own I would most definitely adopt. Years later my sister was face with the most difficult decision of her life. She was expecting a child. A child that she desperately loved, but sadly she was not in a position to give this child the life she knew he deserved and she made the agonizing decision to place him in the arms of a couple who could not give birth to children of their own. I watched her pain, I still see her pain; she knows that she made the correct decision but it still hurts and there is a hole in her heart. She longs to know where he is, to see the man he has become and to let him know that she let him go out of love. Through her I have come to glimpse the pain that a birth mother will go through to give the precious gift of a child to my lovely daughter and her wonderful husband Jared.
I remember well when Devin was born and the Dr. told me that there was a possibility that she had Turner’s Syndrome and briefly explained what that would mean in our life. My thought at the time was something to the effect that if I was going to have a child with special needs I surely got off easy. Test later proved that Devin did indeed have Turner’s Syndrome, I learned what I could, and enjoyed my precious baby. Devin did have some critical health problems as an infant. She weighed 9 lbs. when she was born, she still weighed 9 lbs. on her first birthday; the first year was rough and many hours were spent in and out of doctor offices. I was terrified that Devin’s life on earth would be short. As it turned out she out grew her problems, and by her first birthday my biggest concern was putting a little fat on her bones. Her problem was in no way related to the lack of an X chromosome.
From the time of her birth we were very open with Devin and her siblings concerning the differences and challenges that resulted from Devin’s birth defect. We worked around what we needed too, we joked about her short stature and we lived our lives in a very normal way. We frequently discussed the fact that Devin would be unable to give birth to children of her own, and we would often put in our orders for the type of child we wanted. We had fun with it but we all are in agreement that any child is to be cherished and any child would be welcome not only in Jared and Devin’s home but in our family as well.
Due to her kind and loving disposition Devin was always everyone’s favorite sister. She was quick to give a helping hand to any member of the family and her brothers and sisters were frequently guilty of taking advantage of her – but she didn’t care. Devin is still quick to offer a helping hand to anyone in need, she loves to work and she loves to help others. Her ability to love everyone is a wonderful gift and it will serve her well in her chosen profession and as an adoptive mother.
I believe that a child is a gift from God to be cherished and loved and that is true whether it be an adoptive or birth child. I eagerly look forward to the day when I will hold Devin and Jared’s child in my arms and give thanks to my Heavenly Father for their precious miracle.