I'll take this opportunity to express our views on adoption openness. Kind of nothing to do with the birth father blog, but I just feel like it's been a while since I've expressed it. We want an open adoption! We want our birth families to be part of our lives, and become part of our family. The best way to describe the type of relationship we want is aunt/uncle. We want our birth family to come to holidays, birthday parties, dance recitals, etc. We want them to stop by for visits, or if they're from out of town come to stay with us for visits. Hopefully you guys get the idea... if not PLEASE ask!! Anyway~ We feel this is healthiest for EVERYONE! It's healthy for the child because they can know where they biologically come from, ask any questions of why they were placed, and any other things they may want to know. It's healthiest for birth family, because... from what we can tell... it gives closure. I have an aunt who placed just over 30 years ago. It's a closed adoption. She's expressed to us numerous times that all she wants is to know how he is doing, what type of man is he, ... things like that. As far as the adoptive parent end, as far as we can tell an open adoption is healthiest because it doesn't leave a fear in us. Fear of the birth family and unresolved issues.
Hope this finds all well! Love to all!