Guest blogger- Mom Payne

So as promised~ We have asked a couple of our family members to write down their feelings on adoption. Thank you family! Today is Mom Payne.

Jared and his mom at our wedding- Dec. 2006

I remember the anticipation of carrying a child while he developed. What a miracle! To think that I could eat and drink and in some miraculous way those elements were transformed into a real person. How I loved my child before he was born. New life, created within me!! A new person who would live, grow and have hopes and dreams of his own. I always hoped I would be enough and be wise enough to provide the kind of life and teachings that would help him live a good and righteous live that would lead him back to the arms of God.

I think most women feel the same, especially when they hold that new baby fresh from heaven. I believe placing child for adoption is the greatest act of love next to the atonement. It is an expression of unselfishness that says you love your child enough to seek his best interest.
This one decision will change so many lives. Certainly the life of the birth mother, who gave so much of herself to provide life for another, only to feel empty arms and heart, but hopefully a new beginning for her child and for herself. It would change the life of a new family- created by the sacrifice of another. But it will have the biggest impact on their own dear child. What a quest- to choose for your child, with the help of the Lord, the family with the power to help him reach his eternal potential. I admire and appreciate you who sacrifice so much.
From the other side of the fence, I would much rather endure morning sickness, being so fat you can’t see your feet (let alone tie your shoes), and labor and delivery – rather than endure the years of wanting, waiting, hoping and praying that you would be able to start a family. You know Jared and Devin must be told his brother’s family is expecting child number 5. And you know they will be torn. They want to be happy for them, and they are. But the pain of their own empty arms is renewed and they can’t help it- they also mourn as their wound is reopened once again. The inability of a happily married couple to start a family creates a void that cannot be filled with nieces, nephews, friends or pets. I see their good hearts and know what amazing parents they will be, if given the chance. Children adore them! Jared and Devin bring out joy in children.
I pray that their faith will be sustained as they continue to wait and dream. And I admire their determination to live life fully while they wait