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Monday, November 15, 2010

Family

Our thoughts are this... isn't a family a family? Despite skin color, hair, eye, genetics? Meaning... a family is someone who loves and cares about each other. A family is a group of people that will always be there for you. I don't think it matters how a child comes into your home or what origin the child has... gentically, race, etc.... The important thing is that they are your child, you love them, care for them, and do your best to raise them the way you feel is right. Hope I made my point. If not... there's two ways to go about it... one is ask me! :0) Second is... my friend recently posted about the same type of thing. I feel like she took words right out of my mouth. Here's the posting if you'd like to read her thoughts. OH! She also talks about her daughter having two mommies and being honored to share the title of mom with her daughter's birth mom. Yeah, I feel the exact same way as she does. I can't wait to share the title of mom... when it's the right time. Read the posting to understand. lol Sorry! Anyway~ I have a recently heard of a couple of stories that made me feel sad. I would like to comment on them.

1) A friend of mine adopted her first and had a few children biologically after. She told me a story about when her and her husband decided to adopt... one set of parents were upset! They didn't want this sweet couple to adopt. Even to this day (which the adoption was 13 years ago) this grandma will refer to the adoptee as "my adopted grandchild". I'm sorry, but that is just heart breaking. Consequently, this adoptee has issues being with this grandparent. Which is sad grandparents are the best!


I'm so glad both sides of our family are so excited, willing, and accepting of our adopting. They constantly are asking how things are going to which we reply frustratingly slow. Jared’s side of the family is very welcoming of people into their home. There are people who live by them who are family. They may not have been adopted but are invited to family functions. My family is also very accepting and excited for us to adopt. Seems like they've always talked about the day we'd be placed and get to adopt. I'm hoping to get some of them to do a guest post... so keep coming back to read their thoughts. We happy to have such a welcoming family where our children will just be part of the family.


2) I was recently also told about a teenager in the foster care system. This teenager kept running away from foster families because the teenager just wanted to be adopted by someone of her own race. Don't get me wrong, this teenager has the right to choose what type of family they belong too. There must be a feeling of belonging when you actually look and act like the rest of your family. I once read a story about an African American girl who was adopted by a white family. She loved her family but struggled with some simple things. For example her mother could not help her much with her hair. The texture was just so different that there was not much common ground on this topic. It was hard for her to talk about these things with her Mom. I can't say there are not issues with inter racial adoptions but for me race and whatever doesn't matter in the long run. We will be a family because we care for each other and that is enough for me.

We love adoption and look forward to accepting who comes into our home with open arms and overflowing hearts.

3 comments:

Anna Campbell said...

I can't wait for you to get a little baby. I don't care if she (yes I am rooting for a girl because we need more of them, but i do love boys) is black yellow red pink or green. (green would be kind of fun!) Hopefully some day soon people will start to get this stigma that if you didn't come out of your mom then your not her child. I know plenty of moms who gave birth and do NOT have children. Mom and Dad are titles you earn. Biological mother and father are ones you get if you helped provide life.

DMN said...

The day of our finalization I was flooded with anti-adoption comments on my blog! It was horrible! I know, no one can change the way I feel about our adoption or my relationship with Samantha, but it still sucks.
Even though our families have been happy about our adoption, Brad's mom refused to hold Emma until we found out we were adopting her. And Brad's whole family didn't want us doing foster care... oh well!

Kathleen said...

Your post reminded me of a children's book that I'm sure you'll love. It's called "A mother for Choco" by Keiko Kasza.