Now first things first. For those of you who get our family letter by e-mail last week I did not forget to write the family letter. I was not lazy and just not do it last week. Those of you who get the letter from the post office can vouch for me. As a matter of fact last weeks letter was much longer than normal. It also had several interesting stories. The first one had to do with me loosing my journal pen and Devin finding it. Another story had to do with Michael McLean telling Devin not to make out with me during “The Forgotten Carols”. If you are interested in these stories please call Devin at (XXX) XXX-XXXX and ask what happened.
I know that many of you are concerned about my sleep patterns over the last month or so. I have spent many night laying in bed not sleeping, but if I go down to the couch I normally crash like a teenager in a sports car. Now I was very concerned about this because. If I sleep on the couch I do not get to be with my super fine wife. Everyone knows being with someone that cute is better than being alone on a couch for any amount of time even if she is asleep. I thought and thought about what would make a couch more comfortable than my wife's arms. Then I realized something. I have not slept under the covers for a very long time. Now I want you to know that at this point I did not put 2 and 2 together. At this point if I was adding 2 and 2 I would probably get 2 just because there was already a 2. Then I went down stairs to run a quick errand before heading off to bed. As I walked down the stars I thought boy it feels nice down here, still clueless as to why I could not sleep. When I walked up the stairs I thought it sure is hot up here. Then the blessing of writing in a journal happened I wrote all these things down and realized what the problem was. Upstairs is 5 degrees hotter than down stairs. The thermostat is downstairs in the kitchen and was set at 78 degrees. In case you are having trouble with the math involved in the story if I add 5 degrees because the bedroom is upstairs to the 78 degrees to the thermostat you get “WAY TO HOT TO SLEEP”. You may think that the solution would be easy to solve turn down the heater. Now the women reading this letter know that the temperature of the house is directly proportional to your happiness. In men's terms women get cold easier than men do and if they are cold they are grumpy. It is not a good idea to trade a grumpy husband for a grumpy wife. If the wife is grumpy the whole house is grumpy. What could I do? I tried the only tactic I knew. In a passing conversation I laid out the facts and asked Devin what we should do. Devin thought about this for a little while. Her thoughts went something like this. “Jared is a pansy and needs to just deal with the situation. He is also very inconsiderate for asking me to be cold all the time, but he does have a cute back side”. If you noticed none of my logic had any effect on my wife. It ends up that having a cute back side is the thing that saved me because she wanted it close to her. She relented and let me turn down the thermostat. I still sleep on top of the sheets but at least the upstairs is no longer an inferno.
Devin has to work on Sunday every 3 weeks. Devin's last words to me just as I was writing this where “You always just forget”. Now these statements may not seem related but trust me they are very closely related. As I mentioned today was Devin's Sunday to work. She normally likes to send me text messages in the morning to make sure that I have done basic things like get out of bed and eat breakfast. Today was one of those days. I was not out of bed and I had not eaten breakfast and I was in a rush to get dressed and to my church meetings this morning. As I was sitting in my meeting I got my third text message from a complete stranger. They keep trying to get me to text with them. In case you do not know I only text with Devin so you are out of luck if you want to communicate with that horrid method. Because I was in my church meeting I promptly put my phone on silent. This ensured that I would not be bothered by this anonymous personality. In case you are wondering about the statement “You always forget” here is where it comes into play. I always forget to take my phone off silent on Sunday. Two thirds of the time this is not a big deal because Devin is with me and remembers to take my phone off silent on the car ride home. She is very good at remembering. Since my phone was not making any noise all day and not vibrating all day I had no way of knowing that my wife was trying to ensure that I was out of bed and eating breakfast. Because of the status of my phone I barely got out of bed on time and I did not get breakfast. Here is another time when I always forget. OK I do not always forget breakfast but when Devin is not around I normally forget this meal. Now Devin was getting frustrated at this point because she thought that I was ignoring her, or even worse I was dead and she would not know about it until she got home latter that night. To make things worse she was working with a nurse who always assumes the worst has happened and was fanning the flames of fear. What could keep Jared from responding in a prompt fashion. The obvious answer is that my phone is either off or on silent. Devin did not know what to do she waited and waited for Jared to respond. She tried to send text messages she tried to call but nothing happened. Finally sometime close to when she was about to leave work Jared responded that he forgot to take his phone off silent. I think that I figured out a solution to Devin's quandary the next time I do not answer my phone on Sunday she should call the house phone because it is never on silent. We hope that this new way for Devin to contact me will result in her not calling the police and wondering if I am dead.
Devin and I have been having lots of fun preparing for Christmas and look forward to seeing several of you this week. We hope all is well with you and hope that you have a fun Christmas this year.